The Toilet Paper and the Nanny Cam

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Most people in my situation probably would not have resorted to the measures that I did (see picture above), but I am too obsessive compulsive (read: nuts), and I couldn’t let it go.

While I was 8 months pregnant, I noticed after coming home from work one day that the toilet paper in our bathroom was turned. Call me crazy, but you know that you have a TP preference (rolled under, or rolled over). I happen to prefer (require) rolled under. So when I found my Scott the other way, I took note. It couldn’t be my husband (who is trained on these sorts of things) because he was out of town doing a show. The only possibility was the dog walker. I let it go and chalked it up to baby brain–perhaps in a moment of forgetfulness I had accidentally loaded the paper the wrong way. (Highly unlikely that I would have forgotten such an ingrained practice, but pregnancy can really screw with you).

When I got home from work the following day, there it was again, mocking my need for order. Toilet paper rolled over. Now I knew it had to be the dog walker. But why?? Why did he turn my toilet paper? Why was he even using my bathroom? I told Adam about my discovery, and tried to move on (after turning the paper back to the way it belonged, of course).

For the next week, it became my new obsession. Every time I got home from work, even before taking my shoes off, I headed straight to the bathroom to see what I would find. Almost every time it was turned differently than how I had left it.

Now I was really in a predicament. 1) Most people wouldn’t even notice this sort of thing and it would be a non-issue 2) Was the fact that I noticed it crazy? 3) Worse, was the fact that I just couldn’t handle it anymore crazier? 4) How would I address this problem without seeming like the lunatic that I am? 5) And isn’t the dog walker even weirder because he can’t use my bathroom without feeling the need to turn my toilet paper? [It occurred to me that perhaps he and I were very similar – perhaps he has an obsessive need for TP to be rolled over, the way I need it to be rolled under. But in my own house, is it not MY prerogative to keep it rolled under? There are rules, people.]

I polled all of my closest friends and family as to what my next steps should be. Half of them said I was nuts and that I should let it go. They blamed it on the pregnancy–they said I had completely lost it. The other half thought it was the dog walker who was insane and that I should absolutely address it. And so I did, with the note above. And it never happened again.

One day I finally got an answer as to why the walker was even using my bathroom so much. I came home early from work one day to find him cozily set up with his laptop at my dining table. It turns out he was camping out in our apartment in between walks. A big no no. He was never permitted in my place again, and we got a nanny cam as a result. So now we use it to check in on the babysitter from time to time, and on the dog walkers all the time…**

**It still bugs me that I never found out why he was turning it. It’s a mystery that will regrettably never be solved.

 

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Knowing my toilet paper story, several people referred me to the image above, which surfaced online recently. Apparently the patent for toilet paper shows it rolled over, which technically means it is how the inventor intended it to be used. But nothing, not even the patent (or my friends who routinely turn my toilet paper when they’re at our apartment in an attempt to drive me nuts), could change my preference on the matter.

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